Balance can be such a hard thing to find. After a big move to a new city, training, and developing new careers I'm struggling to find that balance in writing. It's always writing that takes it in the neck at the moment. So I hope you'll forgive this lack of activity. I'm still here, just struggling to find balance.
Sunday, 20 April 2014
Sunday, 23 February 2014
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Doing through some storage boxes recently I found mountains of books. There's nothing unusual about that, or about the books. Once though these books meant the world to me.
I hated school, every single day of it, so weekends were always a real relief. Saturday mornings were centred on going to a town market. I was only interested in one seller though because he had new and second hand Doctor Who novelisations.
I was a Doctor Who fan, so the novelisations, often by the show's former script editor, Terrance Dicks were extremely desirable. What really appealed was the fact that it gave me access to earlier stories. This was an era in which Doctor Who repeats were rarely shown. So every Saturday morning was thrilling, filled with the anticipation of whether the seller would have something new. The greatest disappointment was going home without anything, the greatest joy going home with a Cyberman story.
When I pulled one book out a couple of days ago I instantly recognised the cover. Now I'd regard it as lurid, but as a child it was exciting.
One of the greatest losses of moving to adulthood is that anticipation building to complete joy. It's easy to become jaded, and although studying literature played a great part in my development, having to read so much purely for study sapped a lot of the joy of reading. Seeing these books again has really reminded me of what a joy it can be.
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Sunday, 24 November 2013
We all know what words like loss, gift and dedication mean. There's a more powerful word though that encompasses all of those words and more. It's more powerful because of it's implied extremity. Sacrifice.
Take a look at these two sentences:
I dedicate myself to writing.
I sacrifice myself to writing.
It's easy to see which the more powerful is. Some might think it sounds overblown, but if you aren't prepared to give everything to what matters to you, then does it really matter to you?
Sacrifice then is the ultimate commitment: you offer yourself and all you are up to your path. It's a difficult path to start down though because it begins with loss, the loss of who you were. You lose the benign, ambivalent person you were. Only by making that sacrifice can you become the passionate, resilient person you need to be.
It's easy to continue as you were, as you could always be. It's only through sacrifice though that you can ever truly leap forward. It's only by sacrificing yourself to what or who matters to you that anything will change. Understanding this, truly understanding it through your body, your senses, spirit and soul so that there's no need to even think about it.
Understanding this is joy and fear, but it's also a great insight. Whenever a character reaches this point where everything could change I'll remember this time and these choices. Experiences you've had are typically convincing than experiences you've imagined.